Ache

No words can capture Spring, or sadness.

My heart is aching as I consider a lifetime of lies, and learn to be true. I would live verily, and soothly. I would let go the sins of my past and find absolution in doing better this time around. I don't know if it's possible to be absolved of damaging others, or if the pain I live with is the karmic price of those crimes. My heart aches with how happy love makes me, but my dreams are jagged and sharp, as though my sins, acid etched on the surface, have allowed the under layers to erode.

Is it only justice, and am I able to fight free? Will I only deserve joy, contentment, fulfillment, when I have atoned?

Or do I earn absolution by struggling to live as beautifully as I can, to never do again as I have done?

As with everything else, I can only look to the mirror within for any answer.